Numbers, numbers

Woohoo!  4lb off!  Well OK 3.7lb, but who’s counting … everyone rounds up, right?

Week one … and I’m actually surprisingly proud of myself. I managed to stick within my SmartPoints allowance (Weight Watchers) easily, by shopping well and planning.  I’m a stubborn so and so, and if I make up my mind to do something I’ll do it.  I’ve said to the world that I’m going to lose weight, and so I’m on a roll.  Well, my ham is on a roll to be precise, with lettuce and rocket … but I digress. I had carrots, tomatoes and fruit to snack on, had protein shakes for breakfast (sound horrible, aren’t) and stir fry type stuff for supper.  Walked quite a bit as usual, but made an effort – and went to yoga twice.  So I suppose it’s not all that surprising that I lost a bit.

So why was my immediate reaction one of mild disappointment? Week One of a new diet is always the biggest loss, right? Hmm.

I think I’m so conditioned – as are most people – to care about that number on the scale, that we forget to focus on the wider picture.  Who actually, genuinely cares what that number is apart from us? It means absolutely nothing. Zilch. Nada. Niente. Zip.  What does matter is how we feel about ourselves. Which is exactly why this blog is called my year of wellness and not weight loss.  Sure, I’m hoping that weightloss will come of it, or I wouldn’t be doing Weight Watchers. But it’s not the number that I need at the end of it – let’s face it, if the number went down but I still felt rubbish and couldn’t fit into my clothes, would it matter then?  If I was unhealthy but the number was ideal, would that be my ultimate goal?

The answer to these has to be no. My goal is in stages – initially just being able to put on my socks or pick things up off the floor without huffing would be brilliant. I’m horrified that I allowed myself to get to the point where that is a reality. Then, getting into my wardrobe would be good, rather than just the few clothes that I have that fit. ‘New’ clothes are always nice. In all honesty – it would be great to look at myself in the mirror and not see that bloated face looking back at me.  It won’t be too long (I don’t mind a bit of chub, it keeps wrinkles at bay!) as the lack of sugar and healthier diet will make a difference soon I suspect. Then the small changes in form at yoga – being able to reach my heels in Half Tortoise will feel great! Oddly, I don’t  mind seeing myself at the moment in the full length mirror at yoga … although side-on is a different story, as my impressive J-Lo-Kardashian-stylee butt is rather going in the opposite direction to my equally impressive stomach. It would be nice to have a slightly more proportionate J-Lo butt (I inherited it, I’m keeping some of it at least!).

The numbers that ARE important are the waist ones – I haven’t measured mine (daren’t, to be honest) – but going down dress sizes is a health thing. And that is what it’s all about. And that’s what makes us feel good. Health and wellness. So am I pleased about my loss?  Yes, I am. And rightly so.

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