So yesterday I felt awful. A combination of bingeing on crap for a long period of time, and then Christmas food … basically giving myself carte blanche to eat everything in sight on the basis that I had a plan to start properly afresh today. I ended up feeling so bloated and full over the last couple of days in particular that I couldn’t finish food. The idea of eating more made me feel incredibly uncomfortable, and yet, and yet … it’s food time, so I eat.
Why do we do this to ourselves? This is one thing I really need to focus on this year. I know it’ll take time – this is going to be a slow recovery process and I expect no miracles. I can’t actually remember the last time I was hungry (apart from today – more of that below). I am a creature of habit or excess. On a daily basis, breakfast is the same, lunch is at lunchtime, and food is eaten when food is supposed to be eaten. Only in my case it’s not good, whole food. And then for dinner I have nothing planned, so it ends up being a trip to Tesco. Being that creature of habit (and not really motivated by food, just the pleasure of sugar and junk) I get thoroughly confused by supermarkets. I cannot make a decision, for love nor money (as my ex would tell you) so I could stare at supermarket shelves for hours and not come to a conclusion. In the end, it’s the same thing (creature of habit, see?) – probably Chinese nibbles, chicken kiev, or something equally unhealthy that I don’t have to actually cook. And cookies. And chocolate cornflake crispies … they ALWAYS end up on top of my ‘suggestions’ list if I do an online shop.
In theory, all of the above should be relatively easy to fix – find new, healthier ‘go to’ dinners. But that requires planning, you see. So my first challenge is to break the sugar fix requirement. And ban junk food. Doesn’t mean I can’t have things like a microwave baked potato (God help us, never thought I’d say that) or a Cook microwave dinner for one. Or frankly even toast. But that would all be deadly dull … Hmmm. Casserole?
After all that, not too bad a start today. Mum’s homemade wholemeal bread this morning with lovely butter and peanut butter. Nomnom. Buzzing about during the day, and doing lots of planning for the new year. I had a baked potato in the freezer, so tracked spud & baked beans for dinner. Except that in doing the spud I realised I had no beans … so spud and frozen cheese it was. Ho ho …
PLANNING IS KEY! Especially for a lazy, non-cooking, can’t be bothered, not really very interested in food but eats everything and anything all at once as has no off-switch kind of person.